


The Legend of King Uther of Camelot

by qwerty



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bad Poetry, Community: kinkme_merlin, Crack, Drunk Sex, F/M, Genderbending, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-21
Updated: 2011-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-14 22:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qwerty/pseuds/qwerty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The History of the Great King Uther Pendragon and how he did come to make war upon sorcerers, and then how he came to make peace afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Legend of King Uther of Camelot

There was once a great king of Camelot,  
Whose one worst vice was that he drankalot.  
He imbibed too much of the brew,  
And the next thing he knew,  
The king threw upalot.

Then this great king of Camelot,  
Bore a sweet girl-child and he sworealot.  
He sent the father into battle,  
Where the man was brained with a kettle,  
Which news did make the king laughalot.

Next he sought the High Priestess of the Old Religion  
Bribing her with promises of her favourite roast pigeon,  
To give him a son,  
This time with a mum,  
Who sadly died in a freak accident in the kitchen.

This unfortunate king of Camelot,  
Did care for his son and daughteralot,  
But he showed it by scolding,  
and not enough holding,  
Which irked a certain sorceressalot.

As daughter to the father of the king's only daughter,  
The sorceress when she learnt how he did her dear father slaughter,  
To avenge her poor dad,  
She became a fine lad,  
And plied the king with much porter.

All night long did the king make merry,  
Unsuspecting with his implacable enemy,  
And when he awoke,  
In bed with the bloke,  
He learnt that once more he did carry.

And so our wrathful king of Camelot,  
Against all sorcery did once more ragealot.  
Having seen this before,  
The Court Physician forebore,  
To tell the king, "You haven't learntalot."

Despite the king's attempt to conceal his plight,  
The knowledge of this new child did soon come to light.  
His son and his daughter,  
Failed to hold in their laughter,  
And against the sorceress they refused to fight.

Thus our gravid king of Camelot,  
Was forced to make peacealot,  
With the sorcerers he hated,  
For they were now all related,  
Giving rise to a glorious new era for Camelot.


End file.
